A quick note on the title...

To explain: 

"Man is the only animal that laughs and weeps, for he is the only animal that is struck with the difference between what things are and what they ought to be." 

-William Hazlitt 

"Like a child standing in a beautiful park with his eyes shut tight, there's no need to imagine... we merely need to open our eyes and realize what is already here, who we already are- as soon as we stop pretending we're small or unholy" 

- Bo Lozoff (A quote from a questionable person, but still a good quote I believe.)

"At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want". 

- Lao-tzu 

(This one may sound a little new-agey, but that's not my meaning. The point is that we often have the wisdom and resources we need to answer our questions, solve our problems, but we are too often afraid to realize this and we instead spend so much energy trying to find an outside answer. I believe we were created with everything we need- intelligence, compassion, the ability to have relationships, etc., and that we should stop being apathetic and use the power we have to do good in whatever ways we can. More on this later.)

"Do what you can, with what you have, where you are" 

- Theodore Roosevelt. 

"...the trouble is, we don't know who we are instead" 

- Jars of Clay, Trouble Is

Who we are, what we are... life is about discovering, learning, changing, and being these things. The word "are" represents these ideas. 

The First

At the age of 23, I now have two things I've never had before- a blog, and a plan. This blog is the product of years of consideration and hesitation, having finally come to life after I matured enough to have the nerve to actually publish my thoughts and risk the ultimate humiliation of having my deepest ideas judged worthless by the public. My plan, on the other hand, seems to have been born suddenly in a moment of inspiration birthed from a lifetime of searching, questioning, and- as a GPS might put it- re-calculating my route over and over again. Which, of course, means that this plan is in no way permanent or certain. But it is the first time in my life I have ever had a long-term plan, and that is exciting. From the surface it probably appears somewhat boring- I am going back to school to obtain my BS in Biology (hoping to graduate in 2013). But I hope to eventually learn more and maybe do something wonderfully absurd, like cure cancer with immunotherapy or figure out something incredible about the human brain, like how to fix or prevent autism. Regardless of where the future leads, for now the plan mainly involves taking night classes in gen ed trying to gain admission and financial aid to a rather picky university that wouldn't accept some of my APU courses. What the future holds, I'll find out soon enough. If I've learned anything in the past 23 years of my life, it's that I should never be so prideful as to be certain. Inevitably, if I think I am absolutely beyond the chance of changing my mind or so knowledgeable that nothing could alter my view, at some point I will become aware of something that changes my view completely and renders everything I considered absolutely certain to be, at best, wishy washy and confusing. This isn't a bad thing- it just means that the human mind is capable of continuously learning and expanding and becoming better, and I shouldn't let my pride get in the way of that. But I also have to take everything I've learned thus far and hold tight to my beliefs and values, because all of the uncertainty has a way of making certain things even more certain, even if they are things you didn't consider certain before (if that make sense...). In short, I've learned to value the pure, real, interesting, and meaningful things in life so much more. And that life isn't worth living unless I am relentlessly striving to achieve my full potential as a person- which means finding balance and enjoying life while working hard to grow and learn every day. Thank you for taking the time to share my thoughts; feel free to leave a comment if you are so inclined. More coming soon!