Men best show their character in trifles, where they are not on their guard. It is in the simplest habits, that we often see the boundless egotism which pays no regard to the feelings of others and denies nothing to itself.
-Arthur Schopenhauer
Lately, I've noticed something disturbing about people's behavior towards each other in public: a pattern of dehumanizing each other without a second thought. Perhaps people are merely oblivious to the feelings of others, or choosing to ignore them in favor of their own concerns. I suppose we get so absorbed in our own purposes and plans that it becomes easy to forget the feelings of others. Regardless of the reason, there is no good excuse. Treating the people we interact with as inhuman is not only hurtful and cruel, but a very dangerous attitude that leads to extreme selfishness and a cheapening of human life.
I don't know why it's difficult for us to humanize the waitress at the restaurant, the driver on the freeway, or the support guy on the phone in India. I think we take our negative feelings and offense at situations and direct all of that anger towards another human, undeserving of our wrath but an easy target. How hard would it be for us to just take an extra second and try to imagine what it feels like to be the other person?
My slow checker at Target is probably frustrated with her manager and her low wages, exhausted from a long shift in a stuffy and hot store with loud music, and sick of dealing with customers who can't figure out the credit card machine. Yes, her job is to check me out efficiently- but we all are imperfect and it is unreasonable and selfish for me to expect her to be somehow un-influenced by her own daily frustrations. How about that driver who just cut me off on the freeway? My first instinct is to yell, honk, and otherwise vent my anger at his rudeness. But maybe he's late for work, or on the way to the hospital to see a loved one, or upset because he just lost his job or had an argument with his wife. We've probably all done rude or unthoughtful things while driving for the sake of getting somewhere a few seconds faster. The tech-support guy from India on the other line is just a minimum-wage worker, working the night shift helping angry customers in the US to try and support his family. He doesn't make the policies of his company, and he doesn't deserve the blame for my troubles.
A kind attitude and some mercy towards a fellow human being can go a long way. I'm definitely not perfect in this way- often I get very upset with what I perceive to be the stupidity, rudeness, or slowness of another person. But I believe that showing compassion and love towards each other is something that could make a huge difference in the world- just a moment of love can bring joy into someone's day. We give money to organizations, pray for those suffering, and listen to or read teachings about how to follow God- yet true love is something that is shown much more in our everyday interactions. I think we're meant to show love just as much in small moments as in big ones. If everyone was kind and compassionate towards each other, think how much happier and more considerate we would be as a society! This doesn't mean letting others walk all over you- we can still say 'No' or firmly disagree with others without de-humanizing them.
Maybe thinking of each other as a little more human, a little more like ourselves, would lessen the amount of violence and hurt that happens on a daily basis. My goal is to consider the feelings of those I interact with, and try to treat them as I would like to be treated- with love, compassion, and understanding. Maybe I'll never do anything 'big' to change the world- but if I can spread love and change a few people's days (or even lives) for the better, than I am fulfilling my purpose. We should try to spread love instead of anger.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Good Enough
Having suddenly found myself in a situation where I could be content, I face a dilemma. I feel that I have the ability to be happy living this life; the simplicity and honesty of my new job, and tutoring on the side. At first the situation seems ideal (if it could be affordable financially); however, I never seem content to just let things be as they are on the surface. Immediately after the moment when I realized that I could be content living like this long-term, a strong thought insisted on pushing to the front of my mind: Is this good enough?
All of my life, I've planned to do 'big' things. I want to make a difference in the world. Be it globe-hopping as a missionary, adopting a poor child from Africa, fighting for justice and freedom in politics, or becoming a brilliant biologist searching for a cure to cancer or autism, I always have assumed that my life was meant to accomplish something important- something BIG. Why else would I exist? If I was just going to piddle away my days with useless and monotonous activities, what would be the point? As easy as it might be to just live a 'normal' life, I couldn't see myself doing that because I've always felt an insatiable push to work towards something more. Maybe it's from being told I was special by a few people as a child, or maybe I suffer from delusions of grandeur, but either way I've never been content with my life. I've always felt an absolutely insistent obligation to 'be' something more. What, exactly, I've never been sure of, and thus have ensued many, many hours and days of frustrated soul-searching.
But then there come these moments when, suddenly, my soul takes a breath and says "We could just rest here, you know. You could just live, day by day, being happy and doing good in small amounts- working a normal job, having normal friends, living life in the normal progression like most people do." And a part of me sighs, and says "Yes, that would be nice; rather lovely and peaceful, actually." But another part of me cries out, "You can't do that! You can't just abandon your entire life purpose just so you can rest and be lazy and live a 'normal' life! You weren't born to rest and relax, you were born to do something great and that means struggle and sacrifice and always striving for something MORE."
So the question remains: How much good is enough? I can certainly do good regardless of my path in life; daily interactions, relationships, charities, volunteering, spreading awareness, helping friends & family- there are many opportunities to spread love within my circle, and I will always try to do at least that much. But, is that enough??? If I never did anything BIG; never even tried- would my life still be worth something? Would I be a lazy, status-quo person? Would the small goods add up to be enough for my life to be satisfactory at the end? How could I justify that kind of attitude, just living my life as it came? I suppose there is always the possibility of something big just coming along in my path, but he chances of that seem slim, and the question of the worth-whileness of my own life is one of the biggest ones I will ever have to answer.
So I ponder these things as I think about the future; as I enjoy my long-awaited good working days and new experiences, as I contemplate having children one day, as I wonder how to properly have relationships, and as I struggle with my other inner battles and thoughts. What is the most good I can do; and am I obligated to accomplish that exact amount? How is good measured, anyway? Ultimately, when it comes down to it, is my life good enough?
All of my life, I've planned to do 'big' things. I want to make a difference in the world. Be it globe-hopping as a missionary, adopting a poor child from Africa, fighting for justice and freedom in politics, or becoming a brilliant biologist searching for a cure to cancer or autism, I always have assumed that my life was meant to accomplish something important- something BIG. Why else would I exist? If I was just going to piddle away my days with useless and monotonous activities, what would be the point? As easy as it might be to just live a 'normal' life, I couldn't see myself doing that because I've always felt an insatiable push to work towards something more. Maybe it's from being told I was special by a few people as a child, or maybe I suffer from delusions of grandeur, but either way I've never been content with my life. I've always felt an absolutely insistent obligation to 'be' something more. What, exactly, I've never been sure of, and thus have ensued many, many hours and days of frustrated soul-searching.
But then there come these moments when, suddenly, my soul takes a breath and says "We could just rest here, you know. You could just live, day by day, being happy and doing good in small amounts- working a normal job, having normal friends, living life in the normal progression like most people do." And a part of me sighs, and says "Yes, that would be nice; rather lovely and peaceful, actually." But another part of me cries out, "You can't do that! You can't just abandon your entire life purpose just so you can rest and be lazy and live a 'normal' life! You weren't born to rest and relax, you were born to do something great and that means struggle and sacrifice and always striving for something MORE."
So the question remains: How much good is enough? I can certainly do good regardless of my path in life; daily interactions, relationships, charities, volunteering, spreading awareness, helping friends & family- there are many opportunities to spread love within my circle, and I will always try to do at least that much. But, is that enough??? If I never did anything BIG; never even tried- would my life still be worth something? Would I be a lazy, status-quo person? Would the small goods add up to be enough for my life to be satisfactory at the end? How could I justify that kind of attitude, just living my life as it came? I suppose there is always the possibility of something big just coming along in my path, but he chances of that seem slim, and the question of the worth-whileness of my own life is one of the biggest ones I will ever have to answer.
So I ponder these things as I think about the future; as I enjoy my long-awaited good working days and new experiences, as I contemplate having children one day, as I wonder how to properly have relationships, and as I struggle with my other inner battles and thoughts. What is the most good I can do; and am I obligated to accomplish that exact amount? How is good measured, anyway? Ultimately, when it comes down to it, is my life good enough?
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