Tired

Of waiting, of wondering, of feeling guilty. Of not knowing what to do next or why it's always this way.
Of thinking too much, of not feeling what I should. Of trying to be strong and upbeat and purposeful and really feeling rather lost. Of walking in circles over and over again for years and being frustrated each time I end up exactly where I started. Of feeling frozen and confused and stuck and unable. Of waiting, and waiting, and waiting, and w a i t i n g.  And wishing I had known what I missed, what I should have done differently, and wishing I could just solve all the problems and make everything perfect.